A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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