3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
