MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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