I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
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I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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