Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
