Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
