He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize