white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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