What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just high enough for therapy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
