some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
