yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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