all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He shit in the fireplace
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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