Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
