Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
