Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize