Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
