i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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