we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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