Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
