My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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