My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
