She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
