Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this just has baby written all over it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
