i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
