She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize