wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
