he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
