wrigley field is MILF paradise
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
