Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
whose parrot is this?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
