im six kinds of drunk right now
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
