i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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