I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
