my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
