Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
