we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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