When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
