I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
