Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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