yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize