i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
