The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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