So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
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He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
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We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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