i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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