You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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