You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
