dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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