We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
