my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
