Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
