Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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