We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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