i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
time to smoke my breakfast
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
