Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
