We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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