I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
