Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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